Last fall, we had a sudden cold snap — the temp went from low 80s to freezing overnight — and 99% of my front garden promptly went brown. Snap the fingers and that’s as long as it took. Only the two bottle-brush plants remained, but grew no more, so I’m not sure whether they stay green even when dead. With only a few exceptions, these plants are all foreign to me.
And then… there’s the stupid rosebush. The one thing I honestly want GONE, and the damn thing not only didn’t die in the freeze, it kept growing over the winter. I thought these things were particular! I thought there are books and groups and forums and endless advice columns on keeping your rosebush happy, and yet mine won’t frickin’ DIE!
After one too many times of getting snagged by the stupid thing — a climber, incidentally, and planted sans trellis within a foot of the driveway and sidewalk-to-house, now there’s smarts — I came at it with the garden shears and cut it down to about six inches or so from the ground.
And then it bit me.
One of the longer pieces snapped around, caught me in the wrist, I recoiled, it flew off, I snapped it down and stomped on it. Only once I piled it all up (and contemplated pouring mineral spirits on it and burning it while doing my own victory dance, but we’ll hold off until we see if it regenerates again), did I get back into the house and realize my wrist hurt like the dickens. Pulled back my sleeve to find a bit of blood, a tiny red dot… and a massive hematoma under the skin, like thumb-print size.
The stupid thing bit me. I’m not kidding!
It must’ve punctured the vein, and it hurt all day. I could barely type the docs for work. And how was I to explain? “Oh, I leveled a rose bush, which might I add is a Texas rosebush and therefore fights. Unfairly, at that.”
Unh-hunh.
EDIT: it’s been two days. My wrist doesn’t hurt quite as much, but the bruise is still there. Is it possible to be allergic to rosebush thorns?
Tagged: deconstruction