Me: I think I’ll have a cookie.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: My cookie.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: No.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: Do you want to go out?
Sachi: *sits*
Me: Okay, let’s go out. *gets up*
Sachi: *doesn’t move*
Me: Hunh, okay, no out. *sits back down*
Five minutes later.
Me: I think I’ll have a cookie.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: My cookie.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: Look, this is… FINE. Here. Half a cookie.
Sachi: *delicately takes cookie, retreats to The Lair, returns quickly*
Me: No, you got a cookie already.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: No.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: See? Empty hands! No more cookies!
Sachi: *lays down, crosses front paws, waiting*
Detta: *head swivels with was-that-a-cookie? reaction*
Me: What?
Detta: HEY.
Me: What do you want?
Detta: HEY.
Me: Hush.
Sachi: *pronk*
Detta: HEY.
Me: Stop! Both of you!
Things get quiet. Then, I see the package and think… hunh, cookie would be good.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: FINE. A quarter-cookie.
Detta: *perks up*
Me: Okay, and a quarter for you.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: You can’t already be — fine, here, have a half-cookie. That should take you longer.
Detta: HEY.
Me: Okay, okay, and for you, half-cookie.
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: *munches*
Sachi: *pronk*
Detta: HEY.
Me: Okay, WHOLE COOKIE FOR BOTH– waitaminnit, these are MY cookies. Get your own!
Sachi: *pronk*
Detta: HEY.
Me: …
This is how we end up with the dogs getting all my cookies, despite my Very Considerable Efforts to prevent it. And in the background, as I type this…
Sachi: *pronk*
Detta: HEY! Hey…HEY…hey… hey… *deep sigh*… HEY!
Sachi: *pronk*
Me: *hides cookies*
Sachi: *pronk*
Detta: HEY!
Me: LAST COOKIE.
Sachi: *takes cookie, doesn’t move, JUST IN CASE another’s coming*
Detta: *chomp*
Me: That’s it. All gone!
Sachi: *eats*
Detta: *stares at Sachi’s cookie*
Sachi: *pronks*
Detta: HEY.
Me: NO MORE COOKIES. ALL GONE.
Except they’re not… I just know if I bring out another one, the two pairs of eyes watching me closely will register cookie-ness and it’ll start all over again.
Sometimes life ain’t so hot, just because you’ve got thumbs.
Tagged: horde of hyenas, the grande dame